


Kids Are Alright

by rebelsfromstars



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Because it's them, F/M, Space Parents, but it's an emotional hurt, kanan comforting his girl, kanera - Freeform, mutual support actually, so probably hurt&comfort, this is fluff but like, with angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 07:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13829049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelsfromstars/pseuds/rebelsfromstars
Summary: Hera and Kanan talk about their kids and how they've grown up so much.





	Kids Are Alright

**Author's Note:**

> Remember when Filoni said he cut out a scene from Twin Suns where Hera, Kanan and Zeb were talking about kids growing up? It was nagging me, so this is what I created. There's no Zeb in the talk, because I decided he's their kid too. 
> 
> I've written it before this whole emotional ride with part 2 of Season 4 began. I decided to post it because Force knows how we all now need to not think about what's happening there. It hurt to even edit this after those episodes. This isn't 100 % fluff, but I hope it will take your mind of more unpleasant things, as well. 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy!

"What have he done, now?" asked Hera, trying to hold in her anger before the Command Centre, which was mostly Commander Sato. Beside her Kanan shook his head, as if his padawan was there and could see it.

"Lieutenant Ezra Bridger stole the training fighter, A-wing type and flew from the planet's atmosphere to unknown destination," answered Sato in his calm manner. Kanan groaned quietly.

"I don't know where he is either," he said. Hera had no idea as well. Ezra came to them in the middle of the night, and her brain just didn't process anything beside: Ezra, danger, Outer Rim, alone, mission, attack on Lothal, and do not let that happen. He might as well didn't know himself where he was going, which only made her more angry.

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Zeb, his arms crossed.

"There's not much to do. We don't know where he is. We just have to trust him to come back and to not drag more troubles," said Hera, as they really didn't have any other option.

"Practically impossible with this kid," commented Zeb in an attempt of humour. Hera smiled weakly at him, but didn't feel like laughing at all.

Under all the anger she felt because of Ezra not following orders and disrespecting the command, she felt a great worry. He was a good kid. He wouldn't do that – not after the time he lost the _Phantom_ \- if it wasn't something he found as important. And he was all alone. On a planet he didn't know, without any backup.

And still, he had much more experience than he would have year ago. He wasn't totally hopeless. He had his skills that both Kanan and she, herself, taught him.

But was it enough for 17-year old boy?

"Captain Syndulla, Lieutenant Bridger is under your command. I'll let you handle with this one, without involvment of higher command," stated Sato, and Hera looked at him surprised. She was sure, she will have to convice him to not demote Ezra further. He probably didn't want to involve in Jedi stuff. And maybe he saw it was more of a family thing too. Either way, she was grateful. She nodded her head at him in acknowledgement.

They moved on to the most recent problems around the attack on Lothal. The briefing felt for Hera like it was too long. She could focus of course, but still the thought of Ezra was nagging at the back of her head.

After the briefing was over, she found herself being uneasy. She had only a small break before attending the regular training of the pilots from her Squadron. She intended only to grab some ration bar and go, but she felt Kanan's arm on her shoulder, before she could see him. She couldn't read his face like she had been doing before, especially not with his mask on, but his voice told her of his intentions. He was worried.

"You're okay?" he asked, concerned. Hera knew he probably was picking up on her emotions through the Force. Was she that obvious?

"I'm fine, Kanan. I just don't know what to think of Ezra."

"Is that everything there is to it?" she frowned.

"Yes, Kanan. Could we talk later? I have a training in a minute." she excused herself, not recognizing the source of her distress and irritation. Kanan nodded, and she walked away. She once again was suprised by anger in her steps.

What was going on with her?

She couldn't let her emotions take over her. She needed to work through them. But after the training.

It turned out she could work through them only late evening when she finished all of her duties for the day. Throughout the day, she found out that Chopper was missing too, and knowing he sneaked to help Ezra, eased her a little. But not much.

She didn't recognize herself when she snapped at two young pilots, a girl and a boy, only for laughing from something. She apologized right after, as she wasn't one to not allow people to laugh on the sessions of trainings. It even helped them sometimes.

Only when she was coming back to Ghost, did she realized why she snapped.

They reminded her of Sabine and Ezra.

She stopped in her tracks, when the thought appeared. She was standing, just before the ramp of her own ship, and finally started to recognize her own emotions.

She was missing Sabine. She didn't admit to it, but her staying with her biological mother, biological family, hurt her. And Ezra leaving without their approval and support added more to it. She was angry and sad they left. She felt like something was missing, like big part of her heart was ripped out from her chest.

Once again, she didn't realize Kanan was at her side, until she didn't feel his arm on her shoulder. She looked up at him, this time not trying to hide her emotions. He didn't have his mask on, which made it easier for her to see him. He was worried, but mostly, like her, sad.

"Let's talk," he said, and Hera could only nod. She needed to let her thoughts and emotions out. Maybe Kanan needed it too. Maybe they indeed both needed to talk it out.

She followed him through the halls, to the galley. She sat on the bench, as he started to set the caf machine for two cups. It was an automatic act for them, now. Making caf when they needed to talk, when they needed to solve a problem, or just needed eachother's comfort.

When it was ready, she slided on the bench, wanting him to sit next to her. He felt it somehow and indeed sat next to her, their shoulders touching. He gave her her cup.

"Thanks," she said, taking cup into hands, a comforting warmth emitating from it.

Hera took a few sips, already feeling better. Maybe not at ease, but calmer.

"It's about Ezra?" he asked. Hera nodded.

"Yes, but not only," she admitted, waiting for her thoughts to catch up to her words.

"I … He's all alone there. I mean, he's with Chopper. But that doesn't make me feel any better about it. Only more worried." Kanan smiled, and carefully moved towards her. He outstreched his hand and gently laid it on her own. She smiled back in gratefulness.

"Ezra always ends up okay. I was worried about him too, but then I realized … He's grown up so much. He doesn't need us anymore in that way." he said, and unconsciously Hera tighten her grip on his hand, tears threataning to fall down her cheeks.

"That's the matter, right? They don't need us anymore." she said, her voice hoarsed. Kanan looked at her, surprised. They didn't talk much about Sabine leaving. He tried to, but she shut him down. Now, he knew why.

"Hera," he started, as he moved closer. Automatically she also scooped closer, drawn to the warm comfort of his body, waiting for him to continue. "It's natural. In this age …"

"I know it's natural, Kanan," she snapped, and turned to him harshly, her lekku hitting her shoulder. He was a bit surprised by the roughness in her voice, but his features softened at hearing there pain as well. He waited, so she could let it all out. "It doesn't mean I have to like it, you know? Sabine and Ezra, and Zeb too, they are … I feel like they're my own. And it hurts to see them fleeting home. I'm proud of them. But at the same time …"

"Defeated? Unnecessary? Scared?" he asked when she didn't end the sentence, more rhetorically. She looked at him, understanding painting on her face.

"You feel it too, huh?" she asked quietly.

"Of course I do. I feel the same, I feel like they are my kids." he assured her. Hera lyed her hand on their joined ones, and squeezed it. He reciprocated with the same.

"And still, does it matter? Even if we feel like they're ours, do they feel the same? Does anything we ever did for them matter?" she asked. He thought about it before answering.

"I think these are questions every parent ask themselfes. So if we do, I think it does." She smiled.

"That's a twisted logic, but I can get behind it," she answered. He smiled in return. "And besides," she continued, gulping down the tears. "We had to have some affect on them. Look, how much they've changed. How good they are. I'm so proud of them."

"Of course, Hera. They learned from us. They care." he stopped, lost in his thoughts, before speaking up again. "And when it comes to Sabine … Hera, she stayed there becasue she learned from you that you have to confront your past. We all did, in fact. But she said she's gonna miss us. She cares. And she sees us as her family." he assured her. Hera could only nod, trying to stop tears from falling.

And then, she moved, resting her head on Kanan's shoulder. She shut down her eyes, but for real wanting to shut down everything. Kanan closed his arm around her, with his other hand still entangled with hers.

She cried silently, finally allowing herself to. Kanan's warmth made it easier. She had him. He kept her grounded, and she couldn't be more grateful for him. And she wasn't surprised when she felt a few of his own tears falling on the top of her head. She tightened her arms around him, wanting him to feel her support for him, the same way she felt his for her. He brought her closer and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"How did it even happened?" she asked after a moment, her voice hoarsed. "How did we become parents for them?" she clarified, what was nagging at her recently as well. Kanan didn't move his head at her words. He just started to run his fingers up and down her shoulder in comforting gesture.

It took him a moment to answer.

"I think it was somehow natural for us. We just … I don't know. You know how protective I am, and how caring you are. And you didn't want us to be just a crew." he said.

"Yeah, I guess. I was planning to have my own crew from where I was a teenager, but I never wanted to be only military. I saw too many groups like that not working well and just falling apart with time. And I always wanted to have friends in a crew, but we build a family. That's a one step further." she said in response.

Both of them left unsaid what they were thinking.

_Maybe it's because we want to have a family. Because we've lost it. And maybe, one day, we want to have kids. Sabine, Ezra and Zeb will always be ours, but they've grown up. Maybe we both want to settle down after the war. Maybe we wish for that._

Kanan sighed. He wouldn't tell this to Hera. They practically didn't talk about their future. Maybe it was a mistake as Kanan felt like they were drawing apart form eachother, getting lost in the war around them. Forgetting that all that fighting, it has a purpose. And that purpose might be easily lost.

How much more of their own lifes will they be able to sacriface? Kanan knew it had a meaning, and he knew they're gonna keep fighting. Somehow he just wondered, at what cost?

Hera had to shake the thought out of her mind. She couldn't think about it. She couldn't want so much for herself when there were people dying or ending up enslaved by the hands of Empire. And there wasn't many of them that wanted to stop it that were bold enough to resist them. And so, they had to fight. Even if she had to give up her personal life. She couldn't think of herself, of settling down and starting a family. She would never forgive herself for that. She even doubted she could sit and do nothing about it now, she wasn't raised like that, she wasn't a person like that. Her feelings, her desires, it didn't matter. They just couldn't.

It was already tearing her apart to see Ezra and Sabine grow up and stopping needing her and Kanan. Things like that were important, but they couldn't distract her. She couldn't let herself to simply sit and weep for them. At least not as long as she would want to.

But for now, she could. She snuggled into Kanan, like she did so many times before, when she was seeking his comfort. He reciprocated with all his warmth that she loved, and for the moment nothing else mattered.

"They're our kids too, right?" she asked. Kanan nodded and kissed her forehead once more.

"Of course they are. They really are." he assured her, and she let herself rest, tempted by his arms and his voice.

She didn't regret anything. She loved them like her children, and Kanan did as well. And even if there were sad or frustrating moments, there was nothing to be regretful about.

Only to be proud of.

 


End file.
